For a good two weeks I woke to a spirit of overwhelming fear and anxiety and “the unknown”. Tears would come without pretense. Anger and sadness, fear and chaos of the soul threatened to bring me down. I begged and pleaded and cried out in desperation for God to bring relief!
55 I called on Your name, O LORD,
Out of the lowest pit.
56 You have heard my voice,
“Do not hide Your ear from my prayer for relief,
From my cry for help.”
57 You drew near when I called on You;
You said, “Do not fear!”
Lamentations 3:55-57 NASB
I fought hard. I prayed the scriptures, I prayed the Truth, I prayed alone, I asked others to pray…I fought…I prayed…I believed Who He Is…I stated who I knew Him to be…GOOD, CARING, LOVING, ALWAYS WITH ME, FATHER, GREATER THAN THE ONE IN THE WORLD, ABLE! And after two weeks, I woke yesterday not to tears but to HOPE…not to fear but to relief…not to being overwhelmed but to peace overflowing. It began slowly, but the stream is steady. I know there will only be more and more…of Him!
My wonderful husband took these pictures for me (as our camera is broken!). I remember asking him to take them because of the way the drops were sitting on the leaves. I just remember thinking they were beautiful, unique, very much a God-gift for that morning. As I look at them today, I am reminded of my tears. They have been many recently and from a place deep within. But, there is something amazing when you find your tears in the Hand of The One Who never wastes anything you give…even when the giving hurts. Somehow, because He is Maker of “all things new”, He turns the tears of sorrow into images of beauty and hope.
And so, I give more to Him because His are the only Hands I can trust with the tears…
His Word becoming my only lifeline
being shaken to the very core – increasing my reliance on Christ alone
still yearning…opening up places for Him to fill
a time of seeking the Prince of Peace
Christopher giving me a surprise with Dad
talking about patience as a family
cleaning the kitchen as a family
little boys loving their Momma
a husband who still likes to see my face every day
reading a good book
He is with me
He hears me
He will never give me more than I can bear
holding and rocking little “Grace”…drinking in the richness of the blessing she is
putting a puzzle together with the boys
yogurt, bananas, and granola – a yummy lunch
finding our family rhythm
a good time shopping with the Fabulous Four
Ms. Sue Munson
Ms. Robin Bower
quick, God-timed provisions