What Am I Going To Do With This Life?

Ahhh…Truly, that is how I must begin this blog.  I am sitting in my kitchen with a view of my living room and out my front window…it is one of my most peaceful places in my house.  I am currently being ministered to by and worshipping God with Matt Redman.  God is moving in my “deepest parts” and I must pour out.  

First, read the words of which I am listening…
“Thank You For Healing Me”
The disease of my soul was spreading/ eating me up on the inside/ Keeping my heart from Your new life/ and I see now where I was headed/ for there is no cure that can save us outside of Your mercy, Lord Jesus/ Yes You stepped in with Your power to save/ Let forgiveness reign/ worked a miracle within/ Thank You for healing me/ I was dying beneath my shame/ but You brought me to life again, and I will sing/ Thank You for freeing me/ I was dead to the truth of You/ but my healing was in Your wounds and now I sing/ Thank you for healing me
Though outwardly I may waste away/ on the inside I’ll be more alive every day/ as I walk through times of pain and grief/ there’s a deeper truth inside of me/You have placed Your life inside of me/ I’m alive…Thank you.
I woke up this morning needing a prayer…this prayer.  And I experienced the sorrow, humbleness, and joy of being forgiven and redeemed by my Savior!  There was deep pain within my soul that truly was spreading; it took my very physical breath away.  But I would NOT allow another victory for the enemy by tarrying in that pit!  No, I claimed the promises of my God…for they are always “Yes” in Him!  So I have confessed, believed, and now walk in sweet forgiveness, but there is no taking lightly what occurred in my soul this morning.  The very picture of my Christ dying for the sin which I committed was ever before me, and my heart feels it now as I type this.  Why?  Because as the song says, His very life is in me, and on this earth part of His life was death on the cross.  But following 3 days, as I read to my little boys this morning, Jesus rose again!  And again in me does He rise!  (Christopher followed that story by saying words that he may not have realized the meaning to, but I sure got the message.  He said, “That’s a hard story, Mommy.”  Yes, it is, but without it, mine (and yours) would be harder!)  So, this song I share with you is my prelude.  The very next song on Matt’s Beautiful News cd is the one I’ve been singing for days and wanted to share some thoughts on…so if you have a moment please read on…
“Fearfully and Wonderfully Made”
Fearfully and wonderfully made/How could they say there is no God?/ Reminded every breath that I take/it’s by Your hand I have been formed/ so what am I going to do with this life You gave me?/what could I do but live for Your praise?  You gave me this breath/and You gave me this strength/and every day I’ll live to obey You/with all of my heart/with all of my soul/let every breath I’m breathing display You, God/ There’s elegance in all You create/Your grand designs leave us amazed/the wonders of the way we’ve been made/speak of Your power, tell of Your grace/so what am I going to do with this life You gave me?/what could I do but live for Your praise?/so what am I going to do with this life?/what I am I going to do in these days You’ve ordained?/what am I going to do with this life?
I just finished a Bible study with some ladies, and as was pointed out it is hard to end a journey! You tend to think “so now what?”  Friends, I think God is the one who places that question in our hearts.  He wants so very badly for you to keep ascending and abiding in Him.  Yet all too often, after “mountaintops” we turn around and go through the pastures we’ve already waded in for far too long!  See, I love mountaintops!  I was taught to love them in my youth (wink to “you know who you are”) and have anticipated them ever since.  Still, as the law of gravity says, all that goes up must come down, and quite frankly the “down times” are more frequent than the peaks.  Measurement wise, peaks just happen to be smaller.  So, we have a choice on which side to walk down, and because we are people who desire sameness and comfortability, we tend to return to the side we just came from.  I have a hunch that’s not the answer God was seeking.
There are many things that keep us from going on; fear is mine.  I’m afraid of the “new” that is ahead.  What if I don’t like it?  What if it’s hard?  What if it’s going to require me to let go of more control (ah-ha) and trust Him more?  Can I do that?  Will I do that?  We so easily ponder the bad, that we forget to dream and hope of the “immeasurably more” that God has waiting for us. (see Eph 3:20)  Quite frankly, I’m tired of being a scardy-cat!  I was never a “go-getter”, nor necessarily a quick follower.  So, I sat still most of the time, and while that was appreciated in my kindergarten class, in the class of life I’ve gotta move!  God “gave me this breath” with the strength for this day, so what am I going to do?
-I’m going to live my days with intent
-I’m going to allow myself to be filled to overflowing with my God
-and then I’m going to ask Him to pour me out, even if he has to knock me over to do it!
-I’m going to say “Amen” to every promise He has made me
-I’m going to praise, praise, praise – for what else can be done as we stand in His presence?
-and, friends, I’m going to believe Him in the descent, in the valleys, on the way up, and looking out as I stand at the top
I pray this blessing on you, my friends, my fellow pilgrims:
I pray the blessings of passion and intentional devotion for your lives.  I pray that you receive and pour onto others all of the riches that lie within such storehouses as these.  Yes and Amen to everything that is from Him!
He has given you this breath…He has given you this strength…what are you going to do with this life?
With much love,
Anastasia