That is the title of I Corinthians 13 in my NAS Bible. The Excellence of Love…Does anyone know what that is? Experience that? Believe that? I used to dream of it, and then I became one with this wonderful man who was ready to share this Excellent Thing. I soon realized I could dream BIG but couldn’t live on those same heights. I had never seen the beauty and holiness of love displayed in marriage before. I had a box-office view…and my ratings were low!
Through many tears shed, anger-worked-through, disillusionment popped, fear overcome, insecurity revealed, pride reduced, and love given very one-sided for a long time (by that wonderful Guitar Player)…the walls came tumbling down…mostly. (If one doesn’t remove the rubble after that great fall, one can easily grab a broken rock and still try to wall herself in from time to time.)
How do you allow years of pain, misguided ideas, bitterness, and shame be wiped away so you can fully embrace the love standing before you? There are many wonderful resources available…some I’d even personally recommend. But, if you read all those books, underline, take notes, and even talk about it…yet have not love…they will all “become a noisy gong.” So, from our love experience…
~PRAY…even about the intimate-don’t talk to anyone about that stuff-stuff? Especially about that stuff! God called it good…I had to find out why and how I could make that same proclamation! So I prayed, I pray, I will pray!!!
~TOGETHER, seek out and agree upon good counsel. Do NOT do it alone! Your girls group isn’t it! Facebook is really not it! This is about intimacy…which requires trust to nurture it. So make sure you trust each other and that you both trust who you are talking to…together!
~DATE! Remember how you began…the very beginning. Remember the feelings, the thoughts, the excitement. White dating again remember to hold hands, stand close, look deeply into his eyes, smile at each other, try not to talk about the kids (hard, I know!), kiss, kiss, kiss!
~TELL HIM how you feel and think about things. Women have this wonderful way of reading body language and minds…guys do not! (**That’s one of the ways it’s possible for them to forgive and forget so easily…they don’t get too deep-minded on the things we do. Not because they don’t care about us…maybe it’s because they do!) Anyway, from experience with The Guitar Player, he would rather be told what’s going on in your head rather than receive a lashing from your mouth!
~GROW in your relationship with your Savior. My spiritual mirror has never failed to also reflect my physical state. However my relationship with God is, is in direct relation to how my relationship with my husband is. If I haven’t spent time with God, talked to Him much, listened to Him often, relaxed in His presence, been fully with Him, neither have I been with the man standing next to me in this life.
~START living the way you dream to live. If you have this idea of how you want to be with you husband, start doing the things you do in your dreams. For me this begins at an uncomfortable level, but my longing for this love is great and I want it at all cost.
~DON’T wait on him…PURSUE him! It is the way God loves you…it works! Trust me, they love being sought out!
~REMEMBER this marriage is not all about you. If you don’t learn how to”dance” together, the steps will continue to stay foreign and frustrating. However, if you keep the faith and the perseverance, what was once a solo stomp can turn into a beautiful waltz (or favorite couples dance) with the one you love.