This morning I was sitting outside listening to the birds make their morning sounds and the crickets sing beneath a sky that was about to light up with a blazing sun. It was stunning! (And coffee, I had coffee!) I love these early mornings with DAD. There are some mornings I just want to cuddle back beneath the sheets but then I remind myself I’d miss this. This is not some legalistic thing I do. I know that if I needed to get a bit more sleep, DAD would be completely fine with it, but what I find is I WANT THIS! I want this more than I want an extra hour of sleep. I want this more than I want to go on a morning run. (To which some of you are like, umm, who wants a morning run anyway…;).) Here’s the thing, I want this time because I want Him! DAD won my heart over twenty years ago and He has continued to win my heart every day since.

Large crowds followed Jesus as he came down the mountainside.  Suddenly, a man with leprosy approached him and knelt before him. “Lord,” the man said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.” Matthew 8:1-2

One of the main signs of leprosy is numbness. You stop having feeling in certain areas. The lack of feeling means you can’t tell when your body is being hurt whether in small ways or extremely damaging ways. In this strange way, pain is what you long for – to feel pain means you are experiencing healing…LIFE! You don’t find many praying for pain, but the leper most assuredly would.

This morning I realized – well, I’ve thought this before, so I talked with DAD about it once more – I have lived a whole lot of life a spiritual leper. I’ve tried to keep pain at a distance. This way of life means I’ve forfeited trying new things; I’ve stuck with things I’m naturally good at because to have to learn something means I may fail in the process. Commitment is hard for me to agree to because it means I’ll have to endure it all – the highs, the lows, the wonderful, and the extremely painful. Yet, this is what my life in Christ

“Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:29

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3

humble (Greek: tapeinoó) – With the believer (“show humility, true lowliness”) happens by being fully dependent on the Lord – dismissing reliance upon self (self-government) and emptying carnal ego. This exalts the Lord as our all-in-all and prompts the gift of His fullness in us.*

meek (Greek: praus) – This difficult-to-translate root (pra-) means more than “meek.” Biblical meekness is not weakness but rather refers to exercising God’s strength under His control – i.e. demonstrating power without undue harshness…gentleness…and strength*

Some time around two years ago, give or take, I took a deep breath and prayed a prayer very slowly, with a bit of fear and trembling. I even hesitated at first because I knew that for this prayer to be realized there would most likely be situations that would be more than uncomfortable. I even told DAD not to tell Nathan I was praying it because he’d have to go through “whatever” with me and he might not be too happy to know it was a result of his wife’s prayers!

Finally, I got it out.