Saturday and Sunday were beautiful days here in Colorado Springs. Sooo, you’d think we’d do more, but really we were tired and good to do the few things we widdled our schedule down to. (We had to say ‘no’ to some really good things in order to say ‘yes’ to the other really good things.) (The big dog did not get washed, yet again…not a good thing! I brushed her, though, yay me!) I honestly can’t remember too well what we did on Saturday but that evening Nathan, Ruthie, and I got to head out (Thank you Dar for hanging out with the olders!) and hang out with some friends for a 40th birthday party. (A year which no longer seems that far away or that old.) Oh, I remember why I don’t remember much about Saturday…because it was full of me thinking too much about me and battling me and really it only stopped (and I knew it would) when this girl – me – got outside her house and outside herself and realized God loves her but this earth and life aren’t all about her.
Ohhhh, I was feeling down and missing family and friends who are not in this state and I just took a really wonderful Saturday that didn’t involve basketball games or rehearsals or grocery shopping or major cleaning and I just about threw it down the drain like I did the pineapples, strawberries, and blueberries that fell out of the bowl as I was trying to transfer them into the strainer. But I prayed and I stayed with Him and I would not give in (well, my attitude shifted up and and down a bit), and I told Nathan once we got with our Colorado family (the birthday party) I would be fine! And I was. (Just another testament for community! God NEVER wanted us to live this life alone!) My hubby and I also got to talk on the way home. He asked me hard questions and I answered with fresh realizations and he spoke some Truth into me. (Word to the wise…and maybe more to the foolish…find someone to be in your life who comforts you, yes, but not at the expense of being completely honest with you! In a world full of lies and liars, we need people in our midst who love us enough to not let us wander around in the mess of deception but who will, with a strong, firm, and loving hand, pull us up and – sometimes – push us out of the mud!)
(Oh I think I forgot to mention, Nathan and I – just Nathan and I – got to go out for appetizers and dessert on Friday night. (Thank you Bri for living right around the corner and for loving our children and us! We love you back!) We talked God and ballgames (it was Chilis, so every tv had some sort of sport on) and how good the wings were and how amazing the chocolate chip skillet cookie with ice cream was and oh, that was good chatter right there! (I’m serious! Sometimes, it just needs to be light and fun and like a real…date!) (We very often discuss our sin struggles, our finances, our children’s behavior, our own behavior, yada, yada, yada… This was good!)
Sunday was…tiring! Well, more like I was tired. Baby Girl knows when it’s Saturday night and she likes to declare her knowledge all. through. the. night! I taught kiddos, worshiped with 4 out of 5 of my crew in “big church,” corrected the little dancing queen when she decided she needed to climb on top of and under the chair to finish her worship-dance (which started out really beautiful by the way), and bounced Little Miss Cute in the back while she “sang” through the sermon. We were all a bit of a mess that morning. But! Lunch was good! I made a dish I learned when we visited Taiwan many moons ago…yum! Then, it was off to the bowling alley for another party; this time just me and my olders. Baby Girl stayed with her Daddy. I am just here to announce an award…to my friend Monica…who apparently loves to have parties with 50 plus people. She does it well. I do not plan on following her example. In fact, much to my boys’ sadness, we are not having a big birthday party this year until December (for Hannah) (we will have family parties) because, well, when you have five children, you’ve gotta space this kind of stuff out. (Speaking of spacing it out, Nathan was so wonderful to work up this schedule…Hannah turns 5 this year, so big party for her. Timothy turns 10 next year, so big party for him. Aaron turns 10 the next year, so big party for him. THEN, (gasp! breathe!) Christopher turns 13 the next year,
so big cry fest for Mom, I mean big party for him. Then apparently we get a year off, but I think there is bound to be a baby girl growing during that time who will require her own party. EEK!)
And so, yesterday – Monday. Well, some of it was Spring Break-ish, but we did have to get back to a little schedule. Hannah had dance class and C and A had to do some Math and Grammar. (Today they will do that plus read for their co-op class tomorrow.) Still, though, the day was slower, pretty peaceful, simple. Did some laundry, dishes, and straightening up. Even took a nap! Got to go out with C and H to buy a few items at Safeway; we had fun. (C even asked to go with me, smiled at me most all of the day, and laughed! Oh, Happy Day!) The hubster made his wonderful tacos, I discovered that Ruthie loves blueberries (insert big smile), and after the kiddos went to bed we did adult things…balanced the check book, looked at our new budgeting app (gag!), and then (this is the best part) finished watching Hobbit numero dos! (And I didn’t fall asleep this time!)
I ended yesterday with a great peace and, honestly, feeling like I did exactly what God – and God alone – wanted me to do. I didn’t fret over what I dreamed to do or what I didn’t get done or long for what she was doing; nope, I just stayed focused on the life at hand. And the life He’s handed me is good. Some days I do have to remind myself of this…days when it seems I’m just going in circles, accomplishing little, and living…well…little. But, and here is one of the truths that wonderful, guitar playin’ man shared with me as we drove home Saturday night after I asked how I can get out there and serve when I have five children in my house, even though I know it’s what I need to do in order not to become so selfish and self-absorbed… He said, start serving them. Them? Yeah, them; the five. Start where God has asked you to start. Don’t go around trying out other people’s starting lines and never actually starting! Just start. Just serve. Just love. Right here. Right now. Them.
So, I ended my day by writing down these gifts…
a day…in which things got done, a nap was taken, attitudes stayed good (mostly), the Bible was read to the kids, some school was done, a baby girl ate blueberries, Miss Cute got her dance outfit, my husband loved on me, my oldest wanted to be with me…yeah, a day!