“Could This Be True of Me?”

It is easier to serve God without a vision, easier to work for God without a call, because then you are not bothered by what God requires…You will be more prosperous and successful, more leisure-hearted, if you never realize the call of God.  But if once you receive a commission from Jesus Christ, the memory of what God wants will always come like a goad; you will no longer be able to work for Him on the common-sense basis.  What do I really count dear?  If I have not been gripped by Jesus Christ, I will count service dear, time given to God dear, my life dear unto myself.  Paul says he counted his life dear only in order that he might fulfill the ministry he had received; he refused to use his energy for any other thing.  Acts 20:24 (However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.)…

~Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest

This morning I was renewed.  I turned on the Kari Jobe station on Pandora, got caught up on one of my favorite Christian artists, went on another one of those walks that brought me home in prayerful tears (another post…maybe the next one…), and read the words above.  I felt fire within again; the fire that has long been burning but not always blazing.  The trouble I have in living in this world is that I too often forget my purpose and citizenship.  I often see only with the physical grey-green eyes in my head instead of the God-focused ones in my heart.  Then I lose my aim, my way – The Way, and my fire burns dim.  I forget the very passionate girl I once was.  The one who spoke her love for God, reached out to the untouchable, poured over the Word, and sat at the feet of many a mentor.  The girl who smiled more than she sighed and prayed more than she rambled.

I am so thankful that Hebrews 4:12 is still true; For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Just like a look into the eyes of my husband can make my stomach turn, my heart beat double, and my knees weak, so can hearing Him speak His Words of Love to me.  His love for us left scars on His body; that same love has scraped, broken, and re-shaped my life.  With every breath I take I feel His touch, I know His redemption, I sense His constant grace.  This is the LOVE I went head over heals for; this is the LOVE that has left me breathless, forever changed, forever His.  I will never be the same…everything has changed!